I don't know why, but time is going by so slow, and so fast. My birthday was only last Saturday, and yet.. I keep feeling doubt. I've always wanted to make it into an awesome, great, prestigious university. But I don't think that wanting is quite good enough.
I need to open my eyes. I've been trying for all my life.
And it's just not working.
Maybe the day when I find a competent person in Sacramento, who has massive experience and is willing to tutor me slowly, will be the day that I realize: maybe it's possible. I can get into UC Davis. Maybe I can get to UCLA or UC Berkeley. A long reach, maybe Stanford.
But the truth is that I've always been a dreamer, and a hater. I'm vile, evil. Despicable. Yet, I think that I still have a chance, even where I'm at. At a school with such a lack, a horrible disregard for the future. A school so ugly and focused on grades, API scores, and all that mush. I wish I was near people that cared about others and about their futures as well. But I really need to stop limiting myself.
I hope that someday I'll be able to get into a prestigious college on a Computer Science major. Not because my parents say so, but because I can. And hell, if I can, then I will. And if I will, then I am. And if I am, then.. I'm already shooting towards the future.